Crucify Him!

Feb 21, 20:44 by John Frost
Joe can be a jerk. I had to ask him to tone this one down a bit. Let him know what you think.
Feb 22, 09:29 by Anthony Murfet
...I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. But now I know it has been "toned" down I am slightly miffed. (John) you perhaps should have been advised not to mention that. I went to a few eastercons in the UK when I lived there. Mid to late seventies. Joe's own descriptional views struck more than a few chords with me. One memory in particular always stands out. The guy with the pies. At almost every eastercon event there would be a middle-aged butcher present. Complete with butcher uniform. Striped apron. Bow tie. A self parody. He always had a big tray around his neck. Like the ones cinema attendants used to use. In his tray was what I can only describe as UKFannish con fuel: Pork pies, Kate & Sidney pies, sausage rolls, cartons of milk. As I recall he would not ask for payment when distributing his wares. I tried to mix in at the cons but failed miserably. A few words with Harry Harrison, who never seemed to leave the hotel bar, even on Sunday morning. Listening to a discussion at the dinner table with Theodore Sturgeon. Bob Silverberg, John Brunner. I learned what they were like as people. I enjoyed that part of it. I found the fans themselves to be not unwelcoming but overly concerned with their own selves a tad too much for me. I would have liked a con event devoted to introducing neofans, making it easier to get know other fans. Perhaps I was to young and shy at the time... I've never been back. Today I am a regular reader of Locus, Analog, F&SF, and anything Gene Wolfe writes. I have ancient copies of New Worlds on my shelf, lots of Phil Dick, Ellison, and a complete run of Mystery in Space and Strange Adventures. So there! Am I a fan?

regards, Tony Murfet
Feb 22, 16:29 by Joe Tokamak
Don't worry, Tony. He was editing for style, not for substance. John doesn't like the word fuck. It's a perfectly good word, one of the oldest in the language. Good, honest, anglo saxon stuff. (Unless spelled with a Q. Then he think's it's cute. What a pansy.)

Are you a fan, Tony? Of course you are. You know, even when members of the family live in hermit-like solitude, they're still part of the family. You might want to try one of the more literary cons, they are actually a bit smaller, more manageable, and less, you know, weird. I actually haven't been to any of these, but I am told that WisCon, Potlatch, and the big Fantasy con (I forget it's name at the moment) are all pretty good in that regard.
May 3, 12:52 by David Kawalec
This made me laugh.

I've been to one convention, a Creation Star Trek convention in Philadelphia, if I place it right, it was in 1987 after Star Trek IV but before the Next Generation started. The featured guest was George Takei ("Sulu").

I remember in the pizza parlor next to the center where the convention was being held, a flock of Dr. Who fans (yes, one had a REALLY long scarf) were agreeing with one another (very loudly, I might add) that anyone who spells "color" without a 'u' is completely uncivilized.

Now, I liked watching Star Trek, I read some science fiction, but these people seemed to derive their self-identity from it. It was scary, sad and fascinating all at the same time. There were people twice my age dressing up like it was Halloween. I just didn't get it.

So, I asked George Takei to explain it to me.

"What's it like?" I asked.

"What's what like?" Mr. Takei responded.

"All this," I said and just looked around.

I wanted to know what it was like to be the focus of this, as William Shatner put it in the "Get a Life" sketch on Saturday Night Live, "collosal waste of time."

"They're here for you. What's it like?"

Mr. Takei hesitated. I think he was trying to see if I wanted the real answer or the fan answer. He decided to play it safe.

"I'm enjoying it all immensely. It's so wonderful to be part of Star Trek ... blah, blah, blah."

He was very polite, he smiled graciously and signed a small picture of himself at the helm of the Enterprise (which I still have).

To this day, I still don't have my answer. In my mind however, I don't equate SF Fans to a zealous football players. Instead, I see them like the kind of football fan who paints his face in his team colors.
May 4, 14:02 by John Frost
If they were real fans they'd tattoo their faces. Or surgically graft their Klingon foreheads. Maybe in the future...
May 17, 08:30 by David Kawalec
As a rule of thumb, I think if you tattoo your face, you hate yourself. Having said that, I'm surprised that no one has yet to step up to this next level of uber Trek fandom. With a combination of electrolysis, hair extensions and stainless steel implants, you could probably get the full Klingon look.

It would be great for job interviews:

"Give me this job or I shall rip your heart from your chest and eat it, still beating, in front of your dying eyes."
May 17, 14:12 by Bluejack
With a combination of electrolysis, hair extensions and stainless steel implants, you could probably get the full Klingon look.

I like it. It should be the next "makeover" show on television...

"Today Americas finest surgeons are going to transform Mr. John Bonzo of Topeka from an ordinary accountant into Grand Nagus Dorek, a reknowned Ferengi leader."
May 17, 14:24 by Thomas Reeves
As a rule of thumb, I think if you tattoo your face, you hate yourself.

Unless you are Maori or some similar tradition. It's weird tattooing is more permanent then piercing, but it bothers me less. In least it can be a kind of art.

As for the full Klingon I think I've heard of things like that. There was a man who sculpted his face to be like a lion's. There was a Trekker who had his ears shaped into a Vulcan-like point. I think there might have even been one who made his teeth sharpened like a Ferengi.
Aug 9, 21:20 by Allan Rosewarne
Written before now
I've been to one convention, a Creation Star Trek convention in Philadelphia, if I place it right, it was in 1987 after Star Trek IV but before the Next Generation started
Interesting to use a Creation event as an example, since most fans I know do not consider their productions as fannish events (let me name names: Steve Silver, Dave McCarty, Jim Rittenhouse, Alex Eisenstein). In the Philadelphia area, the examples of what many would consider real conventions would be Philcon, Shore Leave in Baltimore. Whatever,...
Apr 20, 18:34 by M S
Wow, what an offensive article.

First, we don't smell bad. Yeah, sure, some people--randomly distributed throughout the population--will smell bad. Some of them will be in fandom. But thanks, that was really classy and constructive to say.

Nobody but the most insufferable gives a hoot about whether you know the acronyms. But thanks again, this time for perpetuating an ugly little stereotype.

You know, I came to this site because I was looking for book reviews. What I got was this--but what is it? Criticism of my lifestyle?

Fugdub: Creation "conventions" are not conventions in the sense in which we of fandom know them. If you want to have a fractional possibility of seeing a dim and distant figure, someone famous and on TV, and possibly even inhale a single molecule of air that he or she has inhaled, then sure, Creation money-grabs are for you. Sure, YOU got to talk to GT, but most of them don't. So I'd recommend going to a real convention. Oh wait, I wouldn't, because you judge people on wearing costumes. Yeah, nevermind.

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